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With odds of 17% on Kalshi’s futures market, the Rams are the only NFL team to open the season with double-digit odds. The probability translates to +488 in American odds, a figure that is regarded as comparatively low for a Super Bowl favourite. But history is not on the Rams’ side – all of the last 25 NFL teams to open a season with futures odds of +500 or lower have failed to win the Super Bowl, according to Yahoo Sports.

In May, the NFL sent a letter to the US Commodity Futures Trading Commission with a list of certain event contracts it deemed objectionable. By July, the league doubled down with public comments to the CFTC after the agency issued draft regulations for the contracts. The NFL cited props on player injuries, penalty totals and missed field goals as those that fit the bill. Goodell, however, conceded that the NFL has held discussions regarding prediction markets as public policy evolves.

Two other leagues, Major League Baseball and the National Hockey League, have each signed a Memorandum of Understanding with the CFTC that allows participating teams to partner with the operators.

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The first audience eruption during our visit came from a pair of Paris Hilton night-vision goggles. When he looked through them, everything turned grainy green as he struck the stiff, awkward posture recognizable from her leaked sex tape. No explanation. No setup. Just the goggles and the pose. The joke was perfectly timed to the cultural moment—the exact kind of gag Letterman would have killed for.

He also showcased a “Tom Cruise Scientology Starter Kit,” featuring a tiny spring-loaded couch so he could reenact the famous Oprah moment.

Throughout the performance, he skewered himself. With the confidence of a headliner who understood his public perception and chose to weaponize it, he held up a Wendy’s sign with a hole cut through the center, poked his face through, and announced: “This is what I look like when I’m trying to get recognized.”